Developing Resiliency

In your lifetime, you will inevitably face adversity.  Sometimes you will have limited control over the cards you’ve been dealt, and sometimes you’ll be the joker who shuffled the deck.  In any event, even when the chips are down, developing resiliency will keep you ahead in the game.  Becoming a more positive, adaptable person isn’t about perfecting your poker face.  The strongest, most well-adjusted people don’t hide or deny their feelings.  On the contrary, people with resilient spirits experience hardship deeply and wholeheartedly…but they translate those experiences into wisdom they can use to push forward.

If you wrote a story about your life, would you play the hero or the victim?

It’s true that we don’t always have control over negative circumstances.  These situations are especially frustrating, as there’s not always an explicit lesson to be learned.  However, even though you can’t always be in control of your circumstances, you can always be in control of how you respond to them.  No one but you is responsible for your happiness or sadness.  Victims become whatever happens to them.  Heroes are what they choose to become.  Empower yourself by becoming the author of your life story.  Rather than trying to fix your past, which cannot be changed, use your experiences to build a brighter future.  Become the type of hero you would want to read about.

Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

It’s easy to get caught up in one aspect of your life that isn’t going well.  When this happens, look at your life like a pizza pie.  You wouldn’t eat flour, yeast, or salt by themselves.  But when you add them together and bake them into a crust, you create something truly delicious that’s equipped to receive boundless, desirable toppings.  Similarly, while there may be a component in your life that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, life as a whole can still be great.  Take stock of all the ingredients in your life you’re grateful to have and remind yourself not to take them for granted.  Family, friends, good health, financial security, passions, and self-worth are all key ingredients in the recipe to a rich, satisfying life.

Believe that when life takes one thing away, it’s creating space for you to receive something bigger and better. 

The trade-off likely won’t be immediate, nor will it necessarily feel the same.  For example, material items, technology, and even jobs are relatively replaceable, but relationships and loved ones are not.  Being resilient doesn’t mean forcing yourself to try to fill that void; it means finding peace with today and having faith in tomorrow.  Generally speaking, good things happen to good people.  When bad things happen to good people, they view them as opportunities for growth and potential for better things to come.

And when all else fails, remember that tough times don’t last; tough people do.